Sun. August 24^th 2008

On my walk to church a young girl named Manzinia who has been my companion at church the last couple of weeks saw me coming from far away, maybe 30 yards. She cried out “Mama Laura!” and ran full speed to me. I bent over to embrace her and she leaped into my arms with such force we collided and I got my nose smashed! It was painful but heartwarming and comical as well.

This morning had the thought of how amazing it is to be able to hear approx 80 Mozambican men in the Bible School singing their praises to the Lord. (Their dorms and worship area are very close to our house and here there is no glass in the windows.) It would be so foreign to hear anything like that back in the US but here it is one of my M-F daily experiences at beginning at 6:30 am.

Mon. August 11th 2008

…Another memorable moment was at the very end of staff church when we were pray out the visitors who would be leaving this week. One of the Mozambican “mamas” was up there and she had a little boy of about 6 or 7 who I assume was her son. As she was leaning over praying she had him directly in front and underneath her with his hands in hers showing him how to “lay hands on” and pray for the people. It was a beautiful sight!

(This was written Tuesday Dec 4^th)

Here I am knowing I need to write but unsure of what I am to say. So much time has gone by since a real update. So much has happened in that time. Much of what I do here is truly a labor and if it were not for love I could not do it at all or at best it would be ineffective. The name “Labor of Love” continues to reveal itself as more appropriate and prophetic than I understood when given it 16 years ago.

As of 2 weeks ago I have stepped into a “hospitality” position. The lady who had been doing it felt God was leading her back home to South Africa. I am doing most of the face to face help with welcoming visitors giving tours and answering questions and I live in the compound where they stay. Another missionary oversees the room preparations, maintenance of the compound and airport and town runs. This has added much to my daily routine and at times has tested and stretched me to the extremes yet I know that I was to volunteer to help in this way. I would not have taken it on apart from much prayer for confirmation. In the midst of the testing it has been wonderful to connect with people from all over the world … so far… England, Australia, Hong Kong, South Africa, Canada and the US.

Art classes have been improving. It enables me to connect in special ways with the children. Last week we did a special project and Christmas cards for Papa Rolland and Mama Heidi that went into a scrapbook. Heidi arrived back on Saturday for a brief visit and we wanted to send it back with her. I finished a drawing just days before that which I was able to get copied and include in their book. It was from a photo I took on a previous visit and as I drew it the phrase “we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children” kept coming to mind. I looked it up and it is found in 1 Thessalonians 2:7. It seemed so “on target” when considering the many thousands of children’s lives that have been touched and changed by their mother’s and father’s heart. This week we will start with Christmas decorations but I must admit it “feels” nothing like Christmas as I have known it most of my life. The temperature has been climbing and mangos are in season! Heidi is throwing a Christmas party at the beach this afternoon for our children and the village children … totally fun … totally chaos … most likely some of both! After that we have our staff Christmas party. It is quite early to accommodate Heidi being here and the missionaries who begin what will seem a mass exodus in the coming days to go home or elsewhere for the holiday.

{It is now Dec 23^rd)

There never seems to be an end to the demands on my energy and attention and I must admit I am feeling very in need of an escape right now but want to get this out. Without a vehicle there is really only one place to escape to and it would be unsafe for me to walk there with my computer. So I am tucked into a little corner of the gazebo that houses my kitchen. It is very hot but there is a great breeze. Since I’ve updated last Holy Given School had its graduation. Some students left and others stayed and went on a 10 day outreach and returned this week. There have been many more people in and out of here. Hundreds of decorations have been made and get passed out tomorrow evening so that all the dorms and the dining area can get decked out for Christmas Eve candlelight service. We will then have popcorn and ice cream, thanks to a specific donation for this, a huge treat for kids and adults alike! J Christmas morning we (long term missionaries, students and visitors will bring presents to our kids dorms. I have the baby house. J We will stay and play with them for about 2 hours and then go for our Christmas meal for all Iris people. After that we will serve dinner to the community people, kids and adults, and hand out gifts to the children. We had a great plan to avoid riots and mass chaos but this morning there was something announced that ruined that plan! I have not yet heard if the announced situation has been reversed or rescheduled … greatly appreciate prayer coverage!!!

I still feel at a loss to explain day to day life here … and my day to day is much different from those who do the outreaches. On outreaches there have been so many miracles; salvations, blind seeing, deaf hearing, people being delivered and set free. Yea God! Yet day to day life as a whole is very difficult. There is such great darkness and need yet also those whose stories are based out of greed and deception. There is great need for discernment.

Just over a month ago I grieved in a way unlike ever before. I found out that Sabina, a little 5 yr old girl from the village that I am friends with was raped … or enticed into sex in exchange for some rice! To make matters worse many of the other village children were taunting her and telling her she was bad because of it! This has all been investigated and she has been checked out medically. She did contract a STD and was put on meds. The results for the HIV test will not be back until Jan 6th and I need to call for the results. The man was never identified. She and I had a “special day” yesterday. She was with me from about 7:30 am – 4 pm. We ate breakfast together, she played at my room and then we went out for lunch and a swim at the beach. I found a stuffed Dora doll at a Goodwill store this past summer and just knew I needed to buy it to bring with me to Africa. I know Dora is not African but it is still great to have a doll with brown skin, hair and eyes. Even before coming I prayed to know who I should give it to. I believe Sabina is my answer. I am giving it to her for Christmas.

Last Sunday at church as a young girl was transferring a baby to her back from the back of another girl I saw the baby had witchcraft cords and fetishes tied on in three places. This is very common here and also grieves me so.

Electricity and water are randomly non-functioning. Laundry is done by hand. I do have a precious Mozambican woman named Bertina who helps me 1 x a week but I still wash things in between. I am very grateful to have moved 2 weeks ago (third place in 3 months) because I now have a bathroom!!! (And very few ants) There are a couple of drawbacks – it is much hotter and also darker in this room. I have only 1 window in the front and a very small one in the back of the bathroom. There is a wall just a few feet behind it so really no air comes from that direction. A strong box fan would be great to draw air through the place but haven’t seen such a creature here as of yet!

We have goats and chickens on the property. In just the past few days I have had to chase the goats out of the visitor center because they were eating the banana trees which were just planted. I had to correct children for suddenly deciding they wanted to kill some chickens to eat – even though it was at the exact time that lunch was being served! This morning I was set to begin a tour for new group of visitors which included many young men. One of older girls came in and said that she needed to ask me something. As I approached where she was I saw she was wearing a very provocative skirt even for western standards but especially for this culture! I needed to excuse myself from the group for a moment to ensure she went back to her dorm to change. She shortly after apologized to me and I got to really pour into her about her true beauty and attraction and the dangers of soliciting the other kind of attention. Much of my days energies are spent doing things parents do … but there are so many more children! This afternoon after typing on this for a while I was much more peaceful and refreshed and took a walk. On my way saw about 10 of our little boys swimming in one of the cisterns … yes … this is not good! I was on my way to a little Mozambican gift shop. I am friends with one of the painters there. I was given an acrylic paint set and papers by a visitor from England who said that their artist friend sent it with them to give to an artist. He gave it to me but I knew it was just to pass through me and go to Johnny. Mission accomplished. Upon returning I went to the kitchen and got some rice and Matapa, put it in my kitchen and went in search of another little girl, Fatima, who lives right outside the top gate of the center. On my way I encounter a group of about 12 of our young to middle age girls. Two of them were drumming on an upside down plastic wash bucket and the rest were singing and dancing. I absolutely love it! I stayed briefly and then continued my search for Fatima. No one answered at her house so I enter the center again and am at the top of a big hill by our school. There is a full moon and I have an amazing view of the ocean. I take in this beautiful sight and again my spirit is refreshed. I head back down the hill and stop and enjoy the girl’s activity for longer. Then my name is being called by other girls sitting in a gazebo off in the distance. I go over there and they show me pictures that they made with supplies I gave them this morning. They are excited to decorate their rooms for Christmas. There were 4 girls there, one named Viaze, whom I had begun to connect with when I was here last. When I returned this time she was different … she seemed tougher. I found out recently that during the time I was away she went to spend some time in a village with some family members. She was apparently asked repeatedly for things and threatened with a curse for not giving what they demanded. Upon returning here there was a situation where she literally ended up with razor like cuts on her legs due to this curse. Witchcraft is not harmless childs-play. Even this morning as I saw her at church I prayed for her and prayed that God would allow me to connect with her again. Hours later I am with these 4 girls, Viaze one of them and they are full of laughter and play. Viaze then says that her head is hurting and I pray for her. She lays her head in my lap and asks me to come see her room tomorrow. Thank you Jesus! Ok, so now it is dark and I tell the girls I need to go back and eat. As I leave the place I immediately see one our visitors with Sabina. They had taken her to eat and swim with their 5 yr old daughter but then she wouldn’t walk home. She kept motioning to this visitor that she wanted to come to the center to eat. Dinner was over here. What she wanted was to get some food to take home. So I went and got the rice that I had put in my kitchen earlier, put it in a plastic bag for her and off she went. At home this would horrify us, a five yr old girl out on her own all day, pretty much every day, and walking home after dark. But this is Sabina’s world and to some extent a part of this culture. Her mother died in childbirth or shortly after. Dad lives in another city and grandma who she lives with is an extreme alcoholic since the passing of her husband.

Monday of last week I was able to listen to and pray for a South African woman and her 11 yr old daughter who came driving into the center in the midst of crisis. It’s a long story but they have lived here in Pemba for 8yrs and the marriage is very abusive, 3 children involved. It was a “God appointment”. It is always great to see something that was painful in my life be used to help another and to give God glory.

We received two new children at the center last week. One is a beautiful baby girl who was 6 days old when she arrived. Her mom died during a ceasarian delivery. She, Agira, looks to be in very good health. There was also a little boy, about 10 yrs old who walked in one day. (I just found this out today.) Both of his parents are dead and he was living with a grandparent. Somebody told him of us and he got on a bus and took about a 2 hr drive here! So we have had 2 Christmas arrivals.

There is one last thing I will share. Last Thursday I was trying to work on getting decorations organized in the art room which doubles as the Preschool in the mornings. The children were playing with homemade play dough compliments of a visitor. As they played they laughed and sang. I heard this amazing voice and thought that maybe one of the older children had come in. I looked around and didn’t see anybody extra. Later I was up getting more supplies and again heard that voice. I turned around to see whose mouth movement matched the song. It was Cassilma a little girl I have known since my second trip here and the one whose picture Meghan used at the top of my web page. The hair on my arms literally stood up. Here’s this little 6 year old girl with a voice that I thought was coming from not only somebody older but I was thinking a boy because it is so deep. Wow – I totally sensed the presence and anointing of the Lord in her song and it was a highlight of my day!

I know this is long but maybe this will explain both why I am not so good at writing and some of what my life consists of here. Most nights I am exhausted mentally and physically but I praise God that I have remained very healthy (with the exception of messing up my knee a month ago). There have been only 3 days since arriving where I have been able to totally get away to Murrebue, a remote beach. I have heard of a little family owned campground that I may try to go to for a couple of days after the New Year starts. So, life here is pretty demanding but at the same time I am so blessed and thankful to be here. As I was finishing this off, now the morning of the 24^th, Romans 8:18 came to mind. I looked it up and it says … “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us”. Amen!

God bless you all as you celebrate the birth of Jesus and all that is available because of His arrival!

With love,

Laura

  One of the little idiosyncrasies here is the lack of proper function of many things that are taken for granted back in the US, such as the plumbing. In the bathroom that I share with another long term missionary and the visitors one of the shower heads leaks badly. We try to keep a bucket under it and swap it out when it is full because water is so precious here. (It actually comes in handy when the water is not running to have those buckets of water there to use for showering and pouring down the toilets to flush them.) So today as many other times I went in there and discovered the bucket full and the thought “my bucket runneth over” popped into my mind. It is a play on words from one of the best known Psalms – Psalm 23:5 which I think in KJV may say “my cup runneth over” but my NIV says “my cup overflows”. In the bathroom there is the temptation to focus on the extra work involved in keeping up with the changing of buckets and the muddy mess that is produced by the combination of the overspray that misses the bucket and runs from the back of the bathroom to the front and the dirt that inevitably is tracked in by our shoes. Instead I choose to more properly focus on the truth that if “my bucket runneth over” I am blessed to have not only water but running water and I along with David can say;

Ah … Saturday morning … my ‘day off’- but that really does not happen here when I live in the midst of the people that I serve. I was just finishing my breakfast when I heard crying. From the sound I knew it was the cry of a little child. This in itself is not unusual when I live up the hill from the toddler house and overall in the vicinity of 175 children plus village kids. I looked out my window and saw one of our youngest boys, Benedito, standing behind the wall of his dorm with his pants off, which also is not totally uncommon here – the pants part. J Usually the crying lasts for a short time and then stops. This time it continued and got stronger. I looked out again and I just knew I needed to go check on him. The thought came “This could be messy!” Past this initial thought, knowing I needed to go, everything just kicked into gear. I grabbed gloves and baby wipes (a precious commodity here) and a bag for trash and ran out to him. There stood this chunky little guy with tears streaming down his face, shorts in his hands and a pile where he had diarrhea below him. Such a love for him sprang forth. I had no feelings of being sickened or queasy or disgusted by the task. (Actualy this is very much what mother’s of young children do all the time) The entrance to his home was just a short walk away but it was as if he was paralyzed by the trauma of the moment. I comforted his heart and then stepped him away from that spot and wiped him clean. I was about to walk him back to his dorm to get clean pants when I noticed that he had also stepped in feces … his own or others – I don’t know. The fact was – it was stuck to his foot and needed to be cleaned. Thankfully I noticed this just as I was about to pull my gloves off and was able to get it all clean too. I then walked him to his dorm, was able to tell someone what had happened and got him clean shorts. So there you go – a window into the not so uncommon parts of my world. It exposes some of the challenges here such as why are the children are urinating and defecating outside rather than using the facilities in their dorms and the plethora of problems and diseases this opens us all up to. But, those are side issues.I walked back to my room with this bag full of dirty wipes I had used to clean him. (I can’t just throw it in a trash can anywhere. Here when you take your trash out, you literally have people follow you, wanting to go through it. It is not just children but adult workers as well. We have to burn our trash, all of it, but it is especially important with the bathroom trash … including the toilet paper because it cannot be flushed …even when we do have running water. J We must burn it so they do not rummage through it and become sick and contaminated and spread that contamination. There have been times where I have seen children playing with tampon applicators, even having them in their mouths because this was not done. It is one of the very heart wrenching parts of life here. It also makes you very aware of what you throw away and if anything may possibly be of use to somebody. But this too is a side issue and not what is on my heart to write about, yet it seemed necessary to explain why I am carrying this bag of waste home with me.)

   What is it?

This was the question that I was asked by a young boy from a nearby village as I was returning from the kitchen with my breakfast of pao’ (a bread roll) and cha’ (tea). Thankfully, this time I was able to answer “Yes, you are Nelson”. 

Here in Pemba there are so many new lives that I am a part of. One of my constant prayers is that God would help me learn not only names and faces but deeper identities.This is quite a request with the close to 200 children at this center and the tia’s and tio’s (aunties and uncles) who take care of them. There are also many of the local people employed and serving in ministry, education, construction, transportation, kitchen help and cleaning and children who come in from the villages. It is one thing for me to greet them with a smile and a cheerful bom dia (good morning) but often times they want to know … Do you remember me?… Do you know my name?

This morning Nelson’s question stuck with me. It made me think of how we were all created with a desire to know and be known, ultimately by our Creator, but also by one another. We were fashioned to dwell in relationships. This is what makes the Christian faith so unique. Jesus came to earth with the express purpose of death by the cross, so that He being perfect, could pay the price for the judgement against us. This was the only way that we could regain the intimate relationship with Himself, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit that was there before sin entered the picture in the garden. 

I think of the times I have come before my heavenly Father needing to know … “Do you remember me?”,  ”Do you know my name?”, “Do you know what I am going through?”. I am so thankful for the affirming warmth of His presence and the many clear answers in His Word to settle that question forever. Psalm 139 is a favorite. There is also Matthew 10:30 or Luke 12:7 which tell how the hairs of our head are numbered! Isaiah 49:15-16a reads “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands”. This was the inspiration for the drawing on my ”Updates” page.One last reference I will give is something that stood out to me years ago. The Israelites were entrenched in slavery to the Egyptians and God sent Moses. Exodus 4:31 reads “And when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped”. There is something so very comforting and healing in the comprehension of being known and loved. As I continue to grow in the depth of this knowledge I will persist in praying that I may also be an example of it. When I am asked “Do you remember me?”, I want to be able to answer with a strong “yes”, allowing another to feel known and treasured.

     It is so awesome to be here. I wish I could share all the little joys. I wish there was a way to better describe my life here. Obviously there are some great challenges but I am not talking about those or even what I “do” like the teaching. It is about who I am here… just being here knowing that my ultimate goal is to be Jesus to these people. So … as I walk I am constantly smiling at people and greeting them. I scoop up children and give them big hugs, the bigger children still get big hugs. There are some special needs children who my heart is drawn to just a little extra. One is named Ramadane but they call him Judah instead. When I took his photo the other day and showed it to him he laughed such a big laugh! The thought that came was “Joyful Judah”. I decided this would be my new name for him. He is 13 years old but he does not talk, only makes little noises. Today I came across him looking so down and went up hugged on him and as I was hugging him – prayed over him and by the end of the prayer he was laughing!

  I also have been able to take photos of the children with their art projects. They love this. While doing this the other day I zoomed in on the face of Catarina, one of the girls. When I showed it to her she got so quiet and just stared intently at it. To me it seemed that she was a little surprised at what I captured. She is absolutely beautiful and the view I got is so sweet. When I told her how much I liked it she very humbly said something to the effect of “me too”. I don’t know if I am properly getting across her reaction. It was like she was in awe of her own image but not at all in a prideful way. My thought is this – how many of us if we were shown our “photo” taken by God would be in awe and somewhat surprised at how beautiful we are? I am not at all promoting a “soulish” pride but a proper understanding that we are His children, His creation. He finds us amazingly beautiful to gaze at and He loves us so. How many of us need to stand before the mirror of God’s Word to see through all the lies and improper identities that we have accepted to see our proper identity in Him. I think we like Catarina will be temporarily silenced and in awe. How wonderful it is to be a child of the Most High God … but we cannot stop there. We must learn to also see others the way God sees them.

This seems like a perfect place to share a poem that God gave me years ago that deals with just this.

Heavenly Eyes

Oh please do not look at me

With your earthly eyes

Try and see me as the one

Who has his throne on high

For where you may see the surface

He sees what’s within

He still calls me his beloved

Although He knows my sin

He understands my weakness

My failures and my shame

He has watched me take my every step

He knows which left me lame

So you may see me as I am

this day this hour this place

But He sees me as I can be

through His love, His power, His grace

Copyright Laura Eubanks 2-24-2002

I am so thankful for friends … for those who enrich my life. I am thankful for the greatest friend of all … my Savior Jesus. He laid His life down so that I can live mine fully equipped to do the things He so lovingly planned for me – before I was ever formed in my mother’s womb. What a concept … what a love! Now it is my turn to love like Him … to live my life in such a way that it frees others to be the individuals and community of peoples who will possess the “lands” that have been prepared and promised to them. On Sunday I returned home from Nashville, TN where I gathered with 70,000 plus of my brothers and sisters in Christ for “The Call” on 7-7-07. We cried out corporately for this very cause. We repented in humility, denied ourselves through fasting and prayed that we might be a force that would bring life and freedom to individuals, communities and our land. I have no doubt that God heard from heaven.

On Sunday before we left town we prayed over various areas of the city, one being the State Capitol. There was a monument dedicated in 1909 to a man hailed as a hero for “laying his life down” for the cause of the confederate army… slavery. Almost in its shadow I found a smaller monument in remembrance and honor of another group of people. These people had been ripped away from their families and homes in Africa. We were so wretched and blind! To top that atrocity we shoved them into the bowels of ships, vulnerable to such deplorable conditions that the sign on this monument stated 33% – 50% of them died before ever reaching our shores! I stood arrested and speechless as the weight of this covered me. A short time later as I tried to approach this monument again I just stopped in my tracks and cried and asked for the forgiveness of God and the people of Africa who were so violated. It was a holy moment.  I was entrusted with a portion of what God feels when His treasures … His people … are not recognized for the value He has ascribed to them.

Has history and HIS story taught us anything? Down the road will we feel this same sense of shame and sorrow for the monuments erected to the supposed “heroes” of today? Again, some are so blind that they believe it their duty and right to rip a human life from his or her family and land (the womb) to die and be cast into the bowels of a trash can, before they ever have the chance to enter into their purpose … their land.

I stated earlier that we fasted … we denied ourselves … that we might become a force that would bring life and freedom to individuals, communities and our land. There was a man named William Wilberforce who labored tirelessly to see slavery end in England. Dear Jesus … make me a force … a Wilberforce who will labor tirelessly for the lives of these babies who are brutally being stolen from their families and their homes, the wombs. Dear Jesus allow me to continue to experience your heart of love for all of your undiscovered treasures surrounding me … in the USA, Mozambique, Africa and the other nations of this earth.

2 Corinthians 4:1-4 explains this well. “Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather we have renounced the secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled , it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

It goes on to talk about God who said “Let light shine out of darkness and He made His light to shine in our hearts”. We as believers need to be praying His prayer … “that light would shine in the darkness” … but we are also the answer to that prayer.

What direction is God wanting to point you to shine His light and carry His love into the darkness? In John 15:13 Jesus says “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” Whose friend will you be? Who needs to be set free?